New Found love
by jackie.bedford1997
Summary: Things aren't going well for Sirius, but then he starts to fall in love with his best friend who couldn't possibly love him back, or could he...
1. Chapter 1

**New found love**

Chapter 1:

Sirius is from The Black family who are a long line of Slytherins, but Sirius wasn't like them and when he was 11 the sorting hat put him into Gryffindor and ever since his family has hated him for it, even other Slytherins who didn't know him personally, but knew of his family's name hissed at him, but he was just a boy. Sirius hated being at home, but this is where he stayed all summer with no contact from any of his friends, but not because he didn't want to see them or write to them, his family especially his mother wouldn't let him and every letter he got she would throw into the fire. This year had been terribly bad and he wasn't quite sure why it had happened, he thought he would have been used to it by now, but the pain from it all only ever seems to get worse. He had never told anyone about it before he had only Remus, who only accidentally saw many fresh bruises and he asked out of curiosity, so he told him what they did to him, but other than that no one knew what happened behind closed doors, for being a slytherin sorted into Gryffindor. It was almost September, but even though he was desperate to get away and be back at Hogwarts with his friends, he didn't want to. His body was bruised and every once in a while his wounds would bleed. He didn't want his friends to see him like this, he didn't even like seeing himself like this.

It was September the 1st and James, Remus and Peter was on the train going back to Hogwarts for the next term, but Sirius was missing. "Has any of you seen Sirius…" James questioned, "No, not since we were last at school, I haven't even had a letter or anything off him" Remus said sounding sad, "Maybe he was late and missed the train" peter said stuffing his face with sweets, "It's not like him though" sighed Remus. Sirius was there. He was staying away from everyone making sure no one saw him especially his friends, he didn't want to be there, but anywhere was better than staying at home where he was not wanted or loved by any of them. The train journey which felt like an eternity to Sirius was finally over, but he still waited until he could see everyone was out of sight. He went and hid around the castle in places no other students go, he thought if he stayed there long enough that when he got back to the dormitory he could slip in without anyone them seeing him. Hours had passed and he thought that by now they would all be asleep. He got to the portrait of the fat lady and quietly mumbled and he stepped inside, but he could hear them all laughing and shouting. Peter was seeing how much garbage he could shove in his mouth, but James and Remus made him laugh and he spat it out all over them "we didn't think that one through!" Remus laughed. Sirius walked through with his head down, with his hair covering his face so his wounds couldn't be seen. "Hey! Its padfoot!" James shouted, Remus looked up, but his heart saddened when looking at his friend, he could see something was bothering him. "I would give you your frog, but I ate it" Peter said with a mouth full of chocolate, but Sirius didn't say anything, usually Sirius would wrestle him for the rest of his candy, but this time he didn't even look at him. "Well aren't you going to tell us where you've been" James asked, "nowhere" Sirius snapped. Remus had a rough idea now, but he didn't want to say anything in case he was wrong. "Why are you being such an arse" James starting to sound more frustrated, "leave me alone" Sirius snapped at him again, he was trying not to choke on his on tears, he didn't want them to know how bad it all affected him, he didn't want to look weak, Sirius always tried to be brave even when his whole world was falling apart around him. Sirius began to walk away to try to get to his bed, he was exhausted and he couldn't bear to see his friends see him in the mess he was in. "You could at least answer me" James shouted, "James leave him be, he will come to us when he is ready" Remus said trying to calm the tense situation. James had become frustrated with the way Sirius was acting towards him and just as about Sirius was about to leave the room, James got up and grabbed him, Sirius pulled his arm away in pain, but James grabbed him back again pulling of Sirius' robe revealing his arms and when he looked up they could see his face. James face turns white and stepped back from Sirius, Remus who is still sat on the floor freezes in fear, he's seen him like this before, but it was never this bad. "Happy with yourself now, potter" Sirius snapped, but tears where streaming down his face. His wounds where still bleeding, he was in pain. "And I don't want any of you feeling sorry for me, I don't need any of you!" Sirius cried, but before Sirius could move to walk away Remus got up and walked over to Sirius and wrapped his arms around him, "Did she do this to you.." Remus whispered and Sirius nodded his head, "Im here for you, we all are, but please don't shut us out" Remus said soothingly, Sirius sobbed and broke down in Remus' arms, he hugged him tighter. "Im sorry padfoot" said James and him and peter went off to bed so Sirius could spend some time with Remus. Remus took of Sirius' shirt and could see all of the bruises on his front and back, Remus bathed the wounds that kept slightly bleeding and patched him up. "What happened padfoot" a tear rolled down Sirius' cheek "It happened all summer… I couldn't leave, she burned all the letters that where addressed to me, I wasn't going to come back, not for a while, but I couldn't stay there" Sirius explained, "oh Sirius, Im so sorry" they went off to bed but Sirius kept him awake from the bunk next to him, he was tossing and turning, but then he started to scream, Remus reached over to him bringing him to sit over onto his bed "Im scared moony" Sirius wept "It's okay now, Im here" Remus said holding Sirius in his arms as he comforted him back to sleep, this had become a regular thing sometime Remus pulled him into his bed so Sirius could get a decent night's sleep, a break from the nightmares, all he needed was some love and care, but he never got that. The others never thought anything of it, Remus was always affectionate towards Sirius and well sometimes Sirius was just about affectionate to everyone, "they'd be a cute couple, don't you think peter" James chuckled looking at the pain snuggled in Remus' bed, "Im surprised they aren't together" peter replied.

Remus sat down with Sirius laid on his lap, "You know you don't always have to act so brave, I know you hurt deep inside" Remus said while playing with Sirius' hair "If I did that then I'd be a mess all the time", "Im meaning you don't have to keep it all to yourself even if you don't want to share with the others, but please tell me, I don't want you to have to go through this on your own" Remus said softly.

At least a month had gone by now and all Sirius' wounds had healed with the help of magic. Sirius and Remus where spending more and more time together, but this created a new set of problems for Sirius, he was starting to like Remus. Sirius played an acoustic guitar and sing soft gentle love songs, Remus would listen while he read a book, but would occasionally look up and smile at him. Sirius was playing his guitar and he started to sing "So you brought out the best of me, a part of me I'd never seen. You took my soul and wiped it clean, our love was made for movie screens", Remus looked up and smiled at him, his cheeks would turn rosy pink weather or not the words where meant for him. His voice was so melodic it made Remus melt, he could only wish that the words he sang where for him. Remus would spend a lot of time reading which would sometimes annoy Sirius as sometimes all he wanted was Remus' attention, "moony, I don't understand why you spend so much time reading" Sirius said to Remus flicking through the pile of books that Remus had, "Well I guess it gives me a chance to escape for once in a while" Remus explain, but Sirius didn't understand, so one day Sirius hid his book, but this made Remus become annoyed "Sirius, I'm not messing around, please give me it back" Remus was annoyed now, but Sirius continued to laugh and joke, Remus grabbed a hold of Sirius' arms and pinned them above him, Sirius' eyes widened and he could feel his heart becoming gradually faster, but he didn't want to, he didn't want to feel for his friend like this, Remus grabbed the book that was behind Sirius "jerk" Remus said with a smirk on his face. Sirius walked away hiding his face from Remus because of how red it had become, "where you going" Remus shouted "I…I…I've got to be somewhere" Sirius stuttered making an excuse to get away from Remus. He didn't know where these feelings had come from he wanted to be closer to him, more than just a hug, but he knew he couldn't and he knew Remus would never like him like that.

Sirius sat cuddling Remus just like they usually do, he wanted to tell him there and then that he had feelings for him, but he knew that it would mess up their friendship so he kept it to himself, but the more time he spent with him the worse he seem to feel, though he knew if he stopped being around him then he would want to know why and he wouldn't know how to explain it.

It was games night in the Gryffindor common room and they was playing one of the most popular choices 'truth or dare' that lily had introduced to everyone earlier that year. Sirius dared James to kiss lily and that he did do, there was wolf whistling from everyone in the room and the pair went red, "you want to play it like that then Sirius" James chuckled with a big smirk on his face and then said "I dare Remus to kiss Sirius!" soon as Remus heard that he started to panic because he liked Sirius and he didn't want anyone to know, He didn't want there first kiss to be like this, if they was going to he wanted to because they both wanted to, not for some dare, "well come on then" James said waiting for Remus to make his move, Remus moved across to Remus and grabbed one side of his face and kissed him, it wasn't just a small peck on the lips, it was intense, but it didn't last long, the both boys both went bright red in the face as everyone started to wolf whistle at them. Sirius' lips where soft, warm and gentle, his heart thudded in his chest, Remus gets up and walks away, he could feel everyone staring at him as he walked away especially Sirius. Sirius went after him, "why you leaving..." Sirius asked, "Just a bit overwhelming that all" Remus replied with a warm smile on his face. Sirius got into Remus' bed and wrapped himself round the side of him, not long before Remus fell asleep, Sirius sighed, he could of told Remus that he liked him, tell him all the feelings he had for him, but he couldn't find the words to say it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Christmas was coming up so all of the houses decided to come together and have some kind of party like thing to celebrate the upcoming holiday. A lot of people showed up and everyone was having a good time all except for Sirius who decided to sit back and drink fire whiskey "at least this will take my mind off things" he muttered to himself. All students from different houses where talking to one another and dancing, especially Remus who had seen to have found a new friend from the ravenclaw house, Sirius had no idea who he was, but he didn't like how close him and Remus where being. Sirius continued to drink as he watched the two boys dance together, but the more he saw the more angry and frustrated he felt, he didn't know why 'I shouldn't feel like this… why is this happening to me' Sirius thought, but as he continued to watch it looked as if the two boys where going to kiss and he couldn't take seeing anymore. He slammed his glass down on the table where he was sat and pushed past Remus and the other boy he was dancing with, "hey Sirius you okay" lily shouted as she tried to grab him, but he continued to walk away. Sirius had took himself down a dark corridor where he slammed his fists into the wall over and over again, he sank himself down onto the floor and began to cry, he knew he shouldn't have these feelings, but he just couldn't help it. "Padfoot is that you" Remus asked, Sirius covered up his hands with the ends of his robes "Go away Remus, I don't want to see you right now" "lumos" Remus lit up the corridor with his wand to find Sirius who was sat on the floor "why are you down here and why are you covering up your hands "Sirius didn't reply, but Remus walked over to him and uncovered his hands to find his knuckles where bloody and looked pretty messed up. He took his wand and tried to heal Sirius' hands, but he moved away, "will you just let me heal them" Remus said whilst pulling him back towards him, his hands where then healed and Remus hugged him. Sirius' heart began to race he wanted him, but he didn't know what to do, 'fuck it' he thought and he kissed him, Remus pulled away ever so slowly looking into his eyes and he softly spoke "You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to do that" Remus gently held Sirius' face in one hand while he softly kissing him and pulling him closer by his hips. Sirius let out little soft moans from the touch of him. Sirius' back arched, but Remus quickly slammed him back against the wall unzipping both of their trousers so they could feel even closer. Remus grabbed Sirius by the hips and pressed his body against his trying to get as close as humanly possible. "who even was that guy you was dancing with" Sirius asked "Im not really sure, all I know is that he's from ravenclaw, I just wanted to make you jealous" Remus replied smirking "what do you mean make me jealous…" Sirius said trying to hide the fact that it was true, he did get jealous over him "I thought you liked me, but I wasn't sure and I knew that you was watching me, so when you slammed down your glass and went, then when I found you… I knew It affected you, but I've loved you for years Sirius" Remus said with a twinkle in his eye, "you… loved me…" Sirius said confused "when you finally came back to school and I saw what had happened to you, my heart broke and not just because your my friend and I care for you, but also because I loved you, I couldn't bare seeing you hurt like that, why do you think I always hold you" Remus' voice started to crack. They were both sat on the floor, Sirius got up and sat on Remus' lap facing him, wrapping his legs behind him and tucking his head into his neck, "I love you Remus" "I love you too" Sirius and both boys stayed with one another until night fall.

The two had gone back to the Gryffindor common room where Sirius laid topless on top or Remus' chest. Sirius loved listening to the sound and rhythm of Remus' heartbeat. Remus played with Sirius' hair curling his black locks around his fingers while Sirius stared into his eyes, they both smiled, but then Sirius topped smiling and his face looked lost in thought "what's wrong" Remus said no louder than a whisper "we go home for Christmas in a few weeks and I don't want to go back…. Im scared moony" Sirius began to cry and he turned and wrapped himself around Remus, "you could come stay with me… Im sure my parents won't mind, but I will have to tell them the circumstances and send off an owl shortly to ask", "I'd love that moony". Remus sent an owl off and it was only the next morning when he got a reply back from his parents saying they would love to have Sirius over for Christmas. Remus told Sirius the news and he cried with happy tears.

It was that time of month when Remus would be gone for a few days because of the full moon, Sirius was in a panic, he hated seeing what he to go through, he didn't understand it, but he wanted to be there when it happened, but Remus wouldn't let him because he said it would be too dangerous, but he just wanted to know if he was going to be okay. "He will be okay Sirius, he always is in the end" James said comforting Sirius on the disappearance of Remus, but Sirius knew that it took a part of him every time. He went to look for him and found him in the hospital wing. "Remus are you okay" Sirius' voice cracked, it had always affected him more than the others even when finding out about Remus' condition, It made him feel sad knowing there was nothing that could be done to help him. "My heart turns to dust… over you…" Sirius softly sand before falling asleep by the side of Remus' bed. Remus smiled when he awoke to see Sirius sat asleep beside his bed, "hey padfoot" Remus whispered, Sirius awoke and threw his arms around him kissing the side of his cheek, "I'm so glad you're okay moony, I brought you some chocolate" Sirius kissed him on his forehead "get better soon, moony"

Sirius stayed at the lupins all Christmas and he never felt happier. People who never really knew him all that well showed him respect and cared for him while he was there. They even gave him a present as they couldn't bear to see him go without. Remus had to share his bed with Sirius, but he didn't mind, it was big enough for the both of them. Remus cast a spell that would make no noise leave his room no matter how much noise he made, which would be perfect for the night ahead. The two showered together, Remus softly kissed Sirius as the water poured down both of their faces, they had never felt any closer than this. They dried one another off and laid in bed, Sirius had wrapped himself around Remus, ever so slightly trickling his fingers down the side of him because he knew how ticklish he was. Sirius gazed into his eyes and Remus gazed back "I don't know what I did to ever have someone like you in my life" Remus said as he continued to gaze, Sirius reached up and gently kissed him, Remus sat up and pulled Sirius up on top of him, pulling on his hips pulling him in to kiss him, Sirius had the softest lips and he kissed so delicately. Remus pulled on Sirius' hips grinding his body against his, soft moan left both of them and they made love for the first time.

THE END

(The lyrics sang by Sirius in chapter 1 is from a song called all I want and it's by kodaline)

(Lyrics sang by Sirius in chapter two are from a song called midnight and it's also by kodaline)


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